Bathrooms And Humiliation And Transvestites, Oh My!

I have been giving a lot of thought to the hubbub in Houston over public restrooms. For those of you unversed, the city council of Houston has passed a bathroom bill.   Section 51-17(b) of the bill reads as follows,

“ It shall be unlawful for any place of public accommodation or any employee or agent thereof to deny any person entry to any restroom, shower room, or similar facility if that facility is consistent with and appropriate to that person’s expression of gender identity”

In case you missed that, it means that if a person thinks they are a female, even if they aren’t, then they can use the ladies restroom, shower, etc.

First of all, this is not really anything new.   When I was in my twenties, showering at the local YMCA, there were mothers who brought their clearly way-too-old male children in to the women’s locker room.   This has been a pet peeve of mine for some time. If your kiddo is old enough to shave; and his voice has dropped, then he is probably too old to hold your hand on a trip to the bathroom ladies. My point being is that this is a variety of humiliation that women have been subject to for some time. We are used to this junk, so bring it.

Everyone is crying about the poor children and how they may have to go to the bathroom with some man, but it is not the children I am worried about.   I am not sure that these transgender individuals have any understanding of the rather complete extent to which children can embarrass you.

On a recent shopping trip to Kroger, whilst in the deli, my 2 year old palmed my boobs and squeezed them hard, yelling, “Honk, Honk Mommy! I squeeze your bellybutton.”

Amidst the snickers and glares, I remained calm, “Is that my belly button?”

Z collapses into a fit of giggles, “No Silly Mommy, that’s where milk comes from, like a cow.”

At this point, I really wanted to die, but wait, there’s more. The very next week, same Kroger, frozen aisle we are just passing a smokin’ hot guy.   Z immediately starts blushing and flirting, batting her eyelashes and twirling her hair.   I am bemused by this rather appropriate response. She looks him deeply in the eyes and in her best toddler, husky voice uses the greatest pick up line of all time, uttering, “I eats my boogers.”

Great. Thanks for that kid.

Similarly, my friend Supermom is in the bathroom with her tot at the zoo.   Tot says, “I like your butt mommy. You have a nice butt.”

Cute, right?   Everyone in the adjacent stalls laughs politely.   Supermom said later that she could see the next thought run through Tot’s head and she tried to cover her mouth right as she blurts out, “I don’t like your front butt. It too hairy.”

She had to hide in the bathroom till everyone is gone. Almost ALL of my friends have been subjected to some variation of the above by their overly honest children.

So in conclusion, if a tranny would like to use the bathroom with my kiddo, you are welcome to do so, but I am clearly unable to stop her from embarrassing me in public, so when she says, “Mommy, why does that dude look like a lady?” don’t blame me, she does this stuff ALL. THE. TIME.

Also, don’t think I won’t use this to my advantage if it comes to my area. Believe me, I have waited through enough lines at the ladies room during concerts and sporting events to take significant time off my life. From now on, I plan on marching over to the men’s bathroom and explaining that I am feeling really masculine today and take my place atop the porcelain throne.

Actually, I think this whole thing is really stupid.   If you are good enough at being transgender, then people really shouldn’t notice that you are in the wrong restroom to begin with. Seriously, have you seen pictures of trannies from Thailand? They are stunning and I challenge you to pick out which ones are really men.   On the other hand, if you appear obviously male, and happen to be wearing tights, you should probably stick with men’s room. I think this is a good rule of thumb, but apparently the city council of Houston knows best.


16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. amommasview
    Dec 02, 2014 @ 22:57:17

    Agree with you! And you made me giggle too 🙂


  2. willowdot21
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 00:04:01

    Deep joy, I am so glad my boys are all grown up and all that you have mentioned is a distant nightmare.;)


  3. cindy knoke
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 00:15:25

    About 25 years ago I was a new therapist and had a client who was undergoing gender change. He was a lawyer and litigious. He insisted on using the women’s shower at my place of employment and I supported his right with my employer. Then the Amish women came to stay. I worked for the YMCA. I am sure the Amish felt the Y was a safest environment possible among the English for their young women. I ended up with six young Amish women in my office after their first night, and shower, while I attempted to explain what transgenderism and gender reassigment was.
    My first ten years of employment were pretty amazing……


  4. Your Moderate Mama
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 01:53:43

    I never knew where to go to the bathroom was an issue!

    I have to admit… I am that lady who goes into the men’s room if it’s empty and the line for the ladies is long.


    • kelliewall
      Dec 03, 2014 @ 02:53:04

      I have totally done it and would do it again! I see my husband struggle with this issue. When I am not with him and Z needs to “potty train” or he has to use the rest room what is he supposed to do with her?


  5. Bare Naked in Public
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 05:27:20

    Seriously can’t get a hold of myself -probably because I can relate to so many of your tot tales. Thanks for the light hearted take on all this craziness and for the laugh 🙂


  6. Pebbles On The Road
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 07:09:32

    Oh dear me, familydoctormom. After raising my own 4 and now a grandchild, I know exactly what you mean about what might come out of a child’s mouth. THERE. IS. NO. FILTER. None. At all.

    As for using the men’s room, I did it once. Only once. I can’t think of an emergency that would make me sink that low ever again. That was the nastiest, stinkiest urine-soaked room I’ve ever been in. Even way worse than my house while in the midst of potty-training puppies and/or children. Ga-ross!
    ~ Mai


  7. cordeliasmom2012
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 13:54:37

    It’s hard when your kids are little and there’s no one to take them to the appropriate restroom. I had girls, so it wasn’t a problem for me, but my husband often took them places – and really, do you want a 3-year-old girl going into the men’s bathroom? No one feels like explaining what a urinal is. I’m pleased that so many places now have a separate “family” restroom.

    On a similar note, I remember a time when I was a young woman at a movie theater. While waiting for the movie to start, a young father approached me and asked if I could take his little girl into the ladies’ room because he didn’t feel right taking her into the men’s room, and she had to go NOW. I helped them out, but I always wondered if that really was a good decision on Dad’s part – he had no idea who I was, or if I might have a weird boyfriend waiting in the wings to abduct that little girl, or might be weird myself.

    It’s not easy being a parent.


  8. lbeth1950
    Dec 03, 2014 @ 15:50:39

    If you are discreet, no one is likely to care.


  9. Underdaddy
    Dec 04, 2014 @ 04:51:09

    I saw a lady pulling a large child to the ladies room who was objecting the whole time. Tough call because my kids act they want to contract some exotic disease every time I take them near a toilet or trash can or sink or… out in public. Why do kids touch EVERYTHING?


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