If I Behaved Like My Toddler

With the beautiful weather of spring I have been taking the girls to the park. Their behavior leaves something to be desired, and I have begun to reflect on what would happen if I acted like them at the park. Here is a short synopsis of two recent visits to the park.

  • Z aggressively approaches another small girl who is actively trying to climb her mother to get away from Z. Z is yelling, “Hey, PLAY with me!!!!”
  • Z was undeterred by the lukewarm response, so she went and found some rocks and returned to the little girl yelling, “PLAY with MEEEEEE! I HAVE ROCKS”

(I am pretty sure if I did those things, I would have a restraining order slapped against me)


  • Z finally agrees to play with scared little girl’s older brother.   She returns to me and says, “He called me “Poopy Pants” because I wear a diaper.” I nervously get ready to comfort Z at her first experience with bullying.   She then says gleefully, “I throws pine cones at him.”

(Pretty sure if I did this, it would be called assault and I would spend at least the night in the clink.)


  • Z finishes up by writhing on the ground making dirt angels and mud pies while dressed in a tutu as a fairy princess.

(At this point I am sure that I would be placed in a padded wagon.)


  • Not to be outdone, Baby Bird carefully examines a small frog that she caught for a few seconds before popping it into her mouth for a taste.

(Not even sure what would happen to me if I did this, probably the same runny poops that she has been experiencing, but I am pretty sure I would get some odd looks)


So in summary to all you toddlers out there, take advantage of this now before you are old enough to be held responsible for your behavior. For now, they hold ME responsible for it and I am getting some strange vibes from some people regarding my parenting skills.


8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Underdaddy
    Jun 09, 2015 @ 01:11:12

    I validate your parenting, ignore all previous vibes. Who are they to judge frog eating anyway I doubt they have tried them.


  2. kelliewall
    Jun 09, 2015 @ 02:27:46

    Why are kids so crazy? Help me here. I really need to know. Besides…its protein..and giardia.


  3. Kim
    Jun 09, 2015 @ 16:09:22

    Too funny! And if someone told me to take a nap! I would be ecstatic 😊


  4. Sandy Hardin
    Jun 09, 2015 @ 18:23:33

    I was j ust discussing you and your precious children with Dr. Nass last night at Convenient Care with John! You have to be the “most fun Mommy” in the world. What does a little frog hurt? Besides that, pine cones have been used as effective weapons by siblings for years, therefore Z was just doing some “Boot Camp Training” with a new friend!!


  5. willowdot21
    Jun 09, 2015 @ 18:48:21


  6. threekidsandi
    Jun 10, 2015 @ 02:56:30

    You really do have to ignore other parents or other negative voices. You know what your children need, what makes them happy.


  7. Bare Naked in Public
    Jun 15, 2015 @ 05:22:53

    I hope you could see the humor in all of this. I certainly did. My children are all grown up and folks still question how I parented or didn’t parent. My children and I have come to terms with our growing up – we all did the best we could :-). thanks for sharing this honest account of how moms feel every day about everything they do.


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