The Nonlinearity of Parenthood

So, I have oft wondered why my house has been a tragic mess since the birth of my second child, and I have heard it said that the work created by additional children is exponential, not linear.   This astonishing correlation was proved true tonight.

Behold the list of things I can accomplish with both children present:

–          Maybe pee, but definitely not by myself

Behold the list of things I accomplished in an ninety minutes while I only had ONE CHILD:

  • Changed from work clothes into comfy clothes
  • Peed
  • Sat on floor and fed the baby
  • Put all household laundry away
  • Emptied two dishwashers
  • Reloaded two dishwashers
  • Watered the plants
  • Cooked a made from scratch meal
  • Paid a bill
  • Wrote a personal letter
  • Realized I forgot something and revised personal letter
  • Changed clothes again into work clothes
  • Applied linseed oil to the patio furniture
  • Picked up dog poop
  • Made chalk drawings with Baby Bird
  • Took relaxing bubble bath (not kidding y’all)
  • Put clothes back on Baby Bird
  •   Took adorable videos of Baby bird

Suddenly everything is clear.  No wonder life was so much easier with one baby, and it is nice to be productive for a day, but I wouldn’t have life any other way.


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