The Nonlinearity of Parenthood

So, I have oft wondered why my house has been a tragic mess since the birth of my second child, and I have heard it said that the work created by additional children is exponential, not linear.   This astonishing correlation was proved true tonight.

Behold the list of things I can accomplish with both children present:

–          Maybe pee, but definitely not by myself

Behold the list of things I accomplished in an ninety minutes while I only had ONE CHILD:

  • Changed from work clothes into comfy clothes
  • Peed
  • Sat on floor and fed the baby
  • Put all household laundry away
  • Emptied two dishwashers
  • Reloaded two dishwashers
  • Watered the plants
  • Cooked a made from scratch meal
  • Paid a bill
  • Wrote a personal letter
  • Realized I forgot something and revised personal letter
  • Changed clothes again into work clothes
  • Applied linseed oil to the patio furniture
  • Picked up dog poop
  • Made chalk drawings with Baby Bird
  • Took relaxing bubble bath (not kidding y’all)
  • Put clothes back on Baby Bird
  •   Took adorable videos of Baby bird

Suddenly everything is clear.  No wonder life was so much easier with one baby, and it is nice to be productive for a day, but I wouldn’t have life any other way.

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. willowdot21
    Aug 25, 2015 @ 19:06:15

    well done that is going some!!

    Reply

  2. JoyceWilding@comcast.net
    Aug 26, 2015 @ 01:12:11

    Terrific post – where was Zela Reid while you had this time alone with Wren (at gymnastics or ballet or with Daddy)? Your energy is amazing with all 3 kids (EJW some days when he is studying and… right?) Was so glad to her the good news from Union re staff job for Ethan at last!!!

    Sept 2, I go to NM for my next to last on site class of my 2 yr religion program in Living School. Will graduate next Sept. Am excited about this.

    Love & hugs, Joyce

    Reply

  3. tonyasmithauthor
    Aug 26, 2015 @ 16:30:32

    You are quite the taskmaster! Now your happiness has grown exponentially as well!

    Reply

  4. lbeth1950
    Aug 27, 2015 @ 16:11:28

    I have been staying with my daughter family all summer. She has a ten year old and an eight week old. I smell like sor milk, sweat, my clothes look like crap, and I need my hair done.

    Reply

  5. Underdaddy
    Aug 28, 2015 @ 03:11:49

    I submit a similar theory. Remove the eldest child for increased productivity. They drain the energy. If Jane is somewhere else, the other three are almost invisible. They play better and are nice to one another. The alpha child ruins peace.

    Reply

  6. kelliewall
    Aug 29, 2015 @ 23:48:17

    Weird but true, Underdaddy.

    Reply

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