With the tragic death of a sweet baby in our small community, emotions are high. I can relate to and understand reactions that are similar to mine. My heart aches for a family, a mother, a father, a sister, a grandmother, a church, a community. I grieve the loss of a sweet soul to eternity.
What I am struggling with, are the other reactions, the negative and hurtful reactions. I cannot believe the insensitivity and some of the horrible comments. I have thought long and hard about why people would be so cruel.
When they say, “I don’t understand why the family is profiting on the death of this baby,” what they mean is, “I am greedy and envious that I cannot exploit some tragedy in my life for financial gain.”
When they say, “That grandmother is too young, and too pretty…. That grandfather has too many motorcycles and tattoos…. That father had a run in with the law in 1999,” what they mean is, “Don’t look too hard at my family. I try really hard to present an ideal picture on Facebook. I don’t want you looking too hard at the skeletons and imperfections in my own life. I don’t want to talk about my cousin who went to jail and my dad who is an alcoholic.”
When they question the searchers and law enforcement, what they really mean is, “I feel like a guilty jerk that I didn’t do my part by getting off my lazy tail to help by searching or sending a casserole. My criticism of those who participated makes me feel better about how worthless I have been in this endeavor.”
When they say, “I don’t understand how anyone could lose a two-year old,” what they mean is, “I absolutely understand how this happened, because it (has, could, did, is happening) to me right this moment. (I lose my two year old in my own house at least once a day.) This is their fear and them reassuring themselves that it couldn’t happen to them, knowing full well that it is luck that it has not happened to them”
When they petition the government for a deeper investigation, what they mean is, “My right to salacious details and gossip is more important than your pain and grief.”
I hope and pray that those with a negative attitude will consider the pain of their words before making further statements. However involved you feel in this event, your pain is nothing compared to that of a grieving mother and father. Please measure your words.
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear .Ephesians 4:29