Conscience

slippery foot dangerous fall

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As I was putting the girls to bed, Z starts crying inconsolably.   I tried the usual measures of hugging, rocking and reassuring her that she is just tired or probably ate too much candy, but it wasn’t working.

Finally, after much coaxing,  I managed to get her to explain her blubbering.

“Mom, s-s-sometimes, when my friends at school fall, I laugh,” she wailed.

I find myself bemused, waiting for her to continue.

“Sometimes, I laugh even if they get huuuuuuuuurt!”

At this point I am trying to suppress my own laughter.

“I’m a t-t-terrible person, and I can’t heeeeelp it!” she sobbed.

At this point, I explained to her that this is a natural human response, and that there is even an entire television show (America’s Funniest Home Videos) dedicated to this very phenomenon.  She looked at me skeptically and I am pretty sure she is still convinced she is going to hell for this.

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Happy Father’s Day!

There once with a man, a man with a dream.  It was a dream of condiments, ample and abundant, condiments raining from the sky.  No bite of food would be consumed with out appropriate sauciness.  To pursue that great end, the man started asking for extra condiments at every fast food establishment.  Sometimes his wife thought he was crazy.  Sometimes she was embarrassed.

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Soon, there was a whole shelf in the pantry covered with plastic containers filled with other small containers filled with condiments.  The wife became enraged with the “useless clutter”.  The husband argued that this was not clutter, that it was his dream.   After much deliberation, the husband found a solution that he thought would make the wife happy.

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He ordered squeeze bottles and began to spend his time funneling condiments from tiny packages into them.  Much to his chagrin, his wife (who he was only trying to please) said unkind things about his squeeze bottles, calling them gross and unsanitary.   He argued the benefits of being able to offer guests the perfect zesty buffalo sauce.  She remained unconvinced, until tonight when the benefit of his brilliance was experienced by the wife.

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Happy Father’s Day, my love, keep reaching for your dreams.

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