Let’s Make A Deal

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Getting Z to eat is ALWAYS a challenge.   Lately she is pretty fixated on marshmallows.  She keeps talking about hot chocolate and how she is going to have marshmallows on it (incidentally she has never had hot chocolate and I am not really sure how she knows it exists).

When I noticed that she was just transferring her grilled cheese from hand to hand to give the illusion of eating, I decided to bribe her,  “Z sweetie, if you will eat the rest of your Cheesy, I will give you FIVE marshmallows.”

Z shrewdly looked at her cheesy and responded with enthusiasm, “I want TWO.”

All my dreams of Ivy League just went out the window.  Hubby observing the whole process says, “Kiddo, are you sure about that?  Mommy offered you FIVE.   Are you sure you want TWO?”

I am glad he is trying to give her a mulligan on this marshmallow mathematics issue.   Clearly she misunderstood the proposition.

She nodded with enthusiasm, “I want TWO.”

Hubby: I don’t think you understand how negotiations work. (this is a direct quote from my favorite blogger, “thebloggess”)

Z:  Yeah (giggles)

Hubby:   So to be clear here, you want TWO marshmallows not FIVE?

Z: Yes, TWO

Hubby:   TWO not FIVE?  Are you SURE?

Z:  Yes, TWO (at this point she gets a confused look on her face), NO SIX.

Hubby:  SIX was not on the table.

Z:  I want SIX

I don’t know y’all.  Maybe she is a better negotiator than we realized.

 

 

 

 

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I See Your Yard Biscuit…

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Hubby and I had fellow blogger, Underdaddy and his wife, Supermom over for dinner the other night.  We look to them for guidance as that they are in this parenting thing two kids deeper than we are.  We were having a lovely evening.  The kids were playing well enough for us to indulge in some adult conversation.

I recently had read Underdaddy’s post on “Yard Biscuits”.  His number three was learning to potty train which can be a trying time I am told.  While they were swimming with his four small children, he quite expediently told them to “use the yard” so that the constant stream of small wet feet would not be continually tracked in and out of the house.  It is this kind of wise, no-nonsense parenting advice that I have come to appreciate from Underdaddy and Supermom. *

Underdaddy of course meant for his four kiddos to pee in the yard, but the Underdaddy children are extremely good at following very literal instructions.  Imagine his surprise and horror to see number three hunched over in the yard assuming a position very different than the number one pose.

As I said, I am told that potty training can be challenging.  As Underdaddy and Supermom were about to leave, we look up, and Z has pulled off her diaper, and announces, “I peed on the floor.”

I look down, and my two-year old has indeed urinated all over our hand scraped hardwood.

Fortunately,  the Underdaddy family is on their way out the door and this calamity can be overlooked.   Until…. We get to the sidewalk.  We have been experiencing our rainy season and had a rather torrential downpour earlier that day.  I may have mentioned Neurotic Beagle in the past.  One of Neurotic Beagles idiosyncrasies is that she refuses to get her paws wet for any reason.  So, if it has been raining and the grass is wet, she will back her bottom up off the pavement (ideally) to do her business.  But, this time, her business didn’t make it off the pavement and it is laying smack dab in the middle of the walk way in a giant, steaming pile.

So, Underdaddy, I see your “Yard Biscuits” and raise you one “Floor Pee” and one “Sidewalk Poop”.

*Other great parenting advice from Underdaddy and Supermom :

– Why buy a baby monitor?  Everything you worry about happening to your kid is silent.  If you can hear them screaming through two closed doors, they probably really need you.

–  Where do we find time to clean our house?  We gave that up a long time ago.  We suggest you just stop cleaning.

– Calm down.  Seriously.  You only have as many kids as you have hands.

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