An Open Letter to Lori Alexander in Response to “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos”

Dear Ms. Alexander,

I want to express to you first, that the entire premise of your article is off base.  It is a fallacy that as Christians we should be concerned about what “men prefer”.  We should instead be wholeheartedly focused on what Christ prefers.   Your article makes the mistaken assumption that all women are meant for marriage.  Nothing could be further from the truth.   In 1 Corinthians 7:8 Paul admonishes us that it is better to remain single for the work of the kingdom.  By not focusing on what men prefer, we can further accomplish our purpose in the Kingdom.

The bible does make it clear that debt is not a good idea, but you make the completely illogical jump that this speaks to a woman’s education.   You assert that it is worthless for a woman to obtain an education when she should be having babies.   The bible simply does not support this.  Ruth was not at home having babies when she found Boaz.  She was not in the care of her husband or her father.   She was an independent woman caring for a widow and working outside the home to do so.   Think of Lydia in Acts.  She was a seller of purple dyes.  Because of her economic independence she was able to serve the saints.   Paul did not admonish her to stop selling purple dyes and to go find a good husband, but instead praised her for her hospitality.  Furthermore, many women are intelligent enough to obtain their education through grants, scholarships or hard work, remaining debt-free.

I personally know of one of our sisters in Christ who has remained unmarried.  She went to medical school and then served in Afghanistan doing mission work.  You see, in Afghanistan women were not allowed to be doctors because they ascribe much closer to your view of the world than mine.  But, women were also not allowed to be examined by a male.  This left a great void in healthcare for these women.  If they had trouble in childbirth, they and their children would likely die.  If they had breast cancer, it was just left to fester.  God had a special place for this incredible woman’s skills, and had she ascribed to your advice, many would not have heard of the love of Christ.

Finally, can you hear the vitriol in your voice?  It shows a lack of love for the broken.   Jesus would likely have been spending more time with the sex-addicted, debtors who are covered in tattoos than the churched.   In Luke 5:31, our Lord said, “It is not the the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”  Unfortunately, your statements are a lot closer to the Pharisee of Luke 18:11, saying “Thank God I am not like other people- robbers, evildoers, adulterers or even like this tax collector.”  That reads shockingly similar to your article.

In closing, I would rather pursue God’s plan for my life instead of man’s desires for my body.   I would not presume to know the path that God has chosen for another, nor would I feel free to judge them without knowing the machinations of their hearts.

Sincerely,

Familydoctormom

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2 comments

  1. Dear Kelli..
    I absolutely love your open letter. It is unfortunate so many people who call themselves Christians do not truly know or exhibit the love of Christ. You were spot on with your analogies and scripture references! Kudos…

    In Christ..
    Courtney

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